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Transcripción

SCENE: Lupus on a sunny hillside, tearfully embracing a scientific equation of his own design. As always, his old pal, Flower, is there to support him.

SCIENTIFIC EQUATION:

E = McDONALDZ2                           

SUBTITLE 1: SCIENCE

SUBTITLE 2: It’s not for everyone.

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Transcripción

SCENE: Lupus on a sunny hillside, tearfully embracing a piece of art (which he clearly has created on his own [and which has received an A+]). As always, his old pal, Flower, is there to support him.

ARTWORK:

[An incomprehensible mess of thick and thin lines. “A+” is written in the upper right-hand corner.]                  

SUBTITLE 1: ART

SUBTITLE 2: It’s subjective!

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Transcripción

SCENE: Lupus, Harlan, Zuzu, and co. play an old-fashioned game of full-contact croquet

Lupus: “Me think it’s FUNNY how elbow patches used to be a sign of poverty, but now, they’re a sign of collegiate brilliance.”

Harlan: “These days, they’re like ‘wife beaters’ — you have to EARN the right to wear ‘em.”

Zuzu: “I got a little patch! I like to wear it sometimes, on my little knee!”

Flower: “I DON’T HAVE ANY KNEES!” 

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Transcripción

SCENE: Harlan and Lupus kick it (Harlan like a gluttonous slob in his kiddie pool, Lupus with a slightly perturbed look on his face, standing nearby). 

Harlan: “200 years from now, the standard of beauty will have changed so much that everyone will appear ugly to you, and you, concomitantly, will be ugly to everyone. Therefore, who wants to live forever? I say, eat a cheeseburger now, and die while the women are still worth sticking.”

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Transcripción

SCENE: Lupus, Harlan, Zuzu, and co. play an old-fashioned game of full-contact croquet

Lupus: “Lupus Dragon could never figure out why people got so mad at Michael Phelps for smoking pot. At least half the people who watched him win his eighth gold medal in Beijing were toking on a Honey Bear bong at the time!”

Harlan: “Maybe he fucked up the rotation?”

Zuzu: “Puff puff PUFF puff puffidy puffpuff GIVE!”

Flower: “THAT’S ENTIRELY TOO MANY PUFFS!” 

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Transcripción

SCENE: Lupus, Harlan, Zuzu, and co. play an old-fashioned game of full-contact croquet

Lupus: “Pros and cons about living in the twenty-first century — GO!”

Harlan: “Pro: free Internet porn!”

Lupus: “Con: Internet porn that’s not free!”

Zuzu: “Pro: Light-Brite is making a comeback!” 

Flower: “CON: THE ENTIRE FAQING WORLD IS ABOUT TO END AT ANY MINUTE!” 

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Transcripción

SCENE: Lupus, Harlan, Zuzu, and co. play an old-fashioned game of full-contact croquet

Lupus (thinking): “Vogue”

Harlan: “One day, they’re going to make a movie about me. And they’re going to call it, Diary of a Mad Black White Boy.”

Zuzu: “But… you’re not any of those things,”

Flower: “HE WAS BEING FACETIOUS!” 

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Transcripción

SCENE: Lupus, Harlan, Zuzu, and co. play an old-fashioned game of full-contact croquet

Lupus: “Most successful pickup line — GO!”

Lupus: “The magic 8-ball said to try again later. So… you want to do it now, or what?”

Harlan: “Watch out for the guns. They’ll getcha.”

Zuzu: “Honey, you must be an angel.”

Zuzu: “Yep, I’m sure of it. You’re an angel!”

Flower: “WATCH OUT FOR MY DICK!”

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Transcripción

SCENE: Lupus, Harlan, Zuzu, and co. play an old-fashioned game of full-contact croquet

Lupus: “Lupus Dragon has never been comfortable with the acronym, ‘FAQ’. It a little too close to Irish profanity, when you think about it…”

Zuzu: “Ooo! I’m not allowed to say Irish cuss words! I can never say FAQ again!”

Flower: “YOU JUST SAID IT AGAIN!”

Zuzu: “EEPS!” 

Harlan: “FAQ this. I’m going to Taco Bell.” 

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Transcripción

SCENE: Harlan and Lupus kick it (Harlan like a gluttonous slob in his kiddie pool, Lupus with a slightly perturbed look on his face, standing nearby). 

Harlan: “Had a dream last night that I was porking Heidi Fleiss and Tiffany Pollard at the same time. Then, I turned into a giant can of AIDs. Then, I died.”